Archive for the ‘Who knows?’ Category
🎵 The Problem with Regret
I have hung my harp upon the years, yet in every wind that passes, I hear her name.
- from the journals of exile
“By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down and wept;
we hung our harps upon the willows.”
— Psalm 137 : 1-2
I.
By the waters of memory, I sat down and wept,
And hung my harp on the limb of the years.
The wind in the reeds made a sound like forgiveness,
But it wasn’t forgiveness I heard — it was fear.
II.
Regret is a carrion bird, circling slow,
Feeding on grief that refuses to die.
Its shadow falls long over everything holy,
And whispers, you could have loved better than I.
III.
It never flies lonely — recrimination comes near,
A beast in the dark with a tongue made of blame.
They feast on the bones of what memory offers,
And leave me the echo, the ache, and the name.
Refrain
It wasn’t the box but the silence that fed them,
The years I mistook for the comfort of peace.
Now I open my hands and the feathers fall upward —
They vanish like breath, but the hunger won’t cease.
IV.
I walk through the hush where her laughter once stood,
Through the door that no heartbeat will open again.
And I hear from the willow the faintest of music —
A string half-broken still answering pain.
Coda
By the waters of memory, I sat down and wept,
And hung my harp on the limb of the years.
The song that I lost is the one that still finds me,
And silence itself is the sound that I fear.
The Problem with Regret
(from Random Musings)
Regret is a carrion bird.
It feeds on the grief of those who have loved and lost.
It seldom flies alone.
Its companion is another scavenger beast — recrimination.
As I walk the corridors of memory, both bitter and sweet,
I feel the air stir with their wings.
They circle close, patient and hungry.
I tell myself I am learning —
how I might have been a better man,
a better husband,
a better soul who held nothing back
from the one who withheld nothing from me.
But what I discover instead is a new sorrow.
It is regret itself —
made of things not done, not said,
and of the hurtful words once spoken.
Together they feast upon the bones of memory,
tearing at what flesh remains
until scarcely a heartbeat is left behind.
They shred the heart and leave the mind exhausted.
And I cry out, no more — let me remember no more.
For a moment I reach for the box
that has kept my memories safe these many years,
and begin to put them back,
thinking I might rest if I forget.
But then I remember:
it was not the box that fed these beasts,
but the silence.
And to return to silence
would only feed them again.
FRIENDSHIP
Why did the Scout bring a ladder to his friends’ campout?
Because he heard friendship was on a whole new level!
Ever have a friend who can lift your spirits even when their own sky is overcast? The kind who seems to carry a little lantern of light just bright enough for two?
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the Scout Law—“A Scout is helpful, a Scout is kind.” Those two alone could heal half the world if we’d let them. Kindness and helpfulness are the tools by which we raise the human spirit.
Not long ago, when life felt heavy and uncertain, a few friends reached out. One offered quiet words of care, another offered practical help—“anything, even the silly household chores.” Somehow that kind of specificity opened a door in my heart. It made it easier to imagine saying yes to help when I needed it.
It reminded me that when we offer to help, it’s not the size of the gesture that matters, but its shape—those small, concrete acts that whisper, “I see you.”
I’ve tried to live that way myself. Bringing a meal, lending a hand, hauling a load, or simply showing up. Not heroic, just human. Little things that make life gentler for someone else.
So that’s my musing today: Find a way—any way—to lift someone’s spirit. Do a small thing that makes a big difference.
Because in the end, friendship might just be God’s way of reminding us that chores and grace often travel in the same truck bed. 🚚
Time Travel
On the strange elasticity of years and the tenderness of realizing how swiftly they pass.
⸻
A child sits on the floor, lost among his toys.
His mother says, It’s time to go now. Put them away.
In his imagination he is already moving—
tidying, obeying, swift as thought.
But to her eyes nothing has changed.
Seconds pass. The command comes again, sharper this time.
And when she scolds him for not listening,
he is bewildered.
How could she not see?
He had begun the instant she asked.
A child does not measure time.
He lives inside it like a fish in water,
the current invisible, infinite.
An adult measures it out—seconds, minutes, hours—
a metronome against which patience ticks and love frays.
Between them lies not disobedience,
but two different kinds of existence.
And then, one day, the parent grows older.
The tempo steadies, then slips.
Days become weeks, weeks turn to months.
The seasons collapse into one another
like pages turning too quickly to read.
He watches grandchildren at play
and says the thing the young never believe:
Enjoy this while you can. These days will be gone before you know it.
For this too is a kind of time travel—
to stand in one moment and remember another,
to scold the child you once were,
and to hear yourself answer back
from somewhere deep in the years.
And when at last you understand
how swiftly it all has gone,
you smile—
not for joy exactly,
but for the tenderness of knowing
you were there,
and it was enough.
⸻
Reflection:
We never meant to become travelers in time; it happened while we were looking away. Yet somehow love leaves footprints in both directions, marking where we stood when it still felt like forever.
⸻
Where All Waters Join
Sometimes grief does not cry out—it drifts, carried by the same current that once bore our joy.
There are moments when loss comes not as thunder but as reflection—when the world stands still, and what we see is not the end but a continuation, changed in form.
I wrote this after a dream of a river and a face that was both Ophelia’s and hers—the one I loved more than life itself.
It is not about death, not really. It’s about arrival: the mystery of the one who was, the one who is, and the one who has yet to come.
I offer it here in gratitude and quiet wonder, a meditation on how love endures beyond the reach of hands.
⸻
I see Ophelia floating, dreamlike,
on the current of a cold river.
The water moves with a whispering insistence,
brushing against stones polished by centuries of sorrow.
Her body is already still,
her face molded by the mercy of the chill
into a child’s perpetual smile.
Then the surface wavers,
and I recognize the curve of her mouth—
not Shakespeare’s daughter of grief,
but the woman I loved more than life itself.
The recognition is the wound.
Not that she is gone,
but that I can no longer feel the warmth
that once made her real.
The ache lives in my hands,
in what they remember
and the water refuses to return.
Yet even as I kneel on the bank,
a strange peace rises.
The river does not end;
it only carries her beyond my reach.
In its mirrored flow I see three arrivals:
the one who was — radiant and laughing in sunlight;
the one who is — still, luminous, beyond decay;
and the one who is yet to come —
the presence that will meet me when my own current slows.
I do not call it faith,
only recognition —
that love does not vanish;
it merely changes address.
The current carries her onward,
and somewhere downstream,
in water not yet visible,
I believe she waits —
not to return,
but to receive.
⸻
And so I let the river keep her, trusting that love, like water, knows its way home.
A lyrical reflection on loss and arrival. Through the image of a woman floating on a twilight river, “Where All Waters Join” explores how love endures beyond separation, and how grief, carried by the current, can become peace.
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